Amarillo where the Adventure REALLY begins

We finally get to Texas.  If we were the types of RVers who paste a map of States Achieved on the outside of their units, we would be looking for a colored marker now.  Instead, Debbie confirms it's true when John sees a billboard promoting a 72 ounce steak dinner for free!  TANSTAAFL has been a foundational truism since he'd run across it in his young teen reading even though politicians refuse to let you believe There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch and the ruling Party these days actively lies about “free lunches” that we all pay for and demean the needy.  Anyway, John now learns from Debbie, that you have to eat the entire 4 1/2 pound hunk of cow –with a baked potato, a salad, shrimp cocktail, and a roll with butter.  And do it inside 60-minutes.  If you fail, free becomes $75.  Still not a bad deal, says Debbie, considering you get to take home the leftovers ...and eat more sensibly for the rest of the week.

But we don't need a meal now.   Instead, we head to an area southeast of Amarillo where the largest canyon in The Large State of Texas is Palo Duro, actually is named for its trees: “hard stick.”  With evident Texas pride, one local tells us that it's better than the Grand Canyon, because you can drive several hundred feet to the bottom of it and look up.

Driving home the point that you just got in deep, every bridge crossing the dry creek bed along the canyon floor has warning signs and a gauge indicating that sudden high water can be expected at 5 feet above the road!

This state park lies at the end of a miles long stretch of 75mph two lane road, cut by just one crossroad on the lone prairie.   There's a stop sign.  Debbie's driving.  The stop is routine, but as we pull out a car starts honking.   John looks out his passenger window to see another driver pacing us on the shoulder and gesticulating behind.  Debbie is mystified and we don't have a back window, of course.  John finally thinks to look at the back-up camera which has displayed our faithful Honda C-RV following in lock step for thousands of miles over the past few years, but suddenly it skews to the side of the screen.  John tells Debbie to stop and pull over.   This, too, was not a panic stop.

Thankfully.   

As much as we wanted to think our “toad” was imitating a dog sniffing another's butt, the truth of it seems to be that the not-insubstantial safety pin that secured the hefty clevis pin between the empty arms of that prong under the bumper had jiggled loose ...allowing the clevis pin to fall out somewhere before that stop sign ...allowing the entire right tow-arm to disconnect ...allowing the remaining left tow-arm to twist out of shape ...not allowing it to stop the car's momentum.  In subsequent detail pictures you can see both emergency tow cables remained attached, and even the emergency breakaway brake cable never activated and is intact.

Only the right
arm detached.

"How will anyone
know it's a Honda?"
--Simpsons'
       Principal 
    Skinner

Front body
parts damage

Miles from anywhere on a Texas prairie 1,200+ miles from home –on a Saturday afternoon, yet!– we cautiously test that the car is drivable, then proceed to tonight's campground, creeping up to 50.   Park Adventure is its actual name; it is a commercial private enterprise right next to the state park and features a zipline across a portion of the canyon.  We went there when the State Park (next door) was full.  All we want to do is camp and find some zippy repair places.  We go to sleep worrying about the future, but the sun did rise the next morning.

On Sunday, a helpful guy named Aiden at an O'Reilly parts store in the town of Canyon helps us get the munched hood up, re-latched properly tight and, assuring us that he is a certified mechanic, finds nothing that would interfere with driving the car at Texas speeds.  John buys a few useful auto related gadgets, but feels guilty that we got the best end of that deal.  Major relief!  We go back to the State Park, wondering how long we'll be in Amarillo before getting on the road again.

Aiden had suggested a couple places for the tow bar problem, but nobody's open on Sunday.  Debbie's Monday morning phone calling finds another man who also recommends F/X Motorsports in Amarillo as a great resource.  There, on Monday, F/X's Conrad orders an entire new tow bar and even has it shipped overnight!   It's a simple plug'n'play into the current coach receiver and car's baseplate prongs.  The tow bar is the newest model and includes upgraded clevis pins with integrated locking pins so that our type of incident should not happen again.

But car's the air conditioner, which had been intermittently hinky for the past two years, refuses to work and the outside air temperature is 88 under horizon-to-horizon bright sun and climbing.  We decide: dealer would be the best bet, even though we generally locate smaller, independent shops at home who do us right.  Debbie's phoning finds Brown Honda and, on Monday, she pleads with the Service Department which decides that it can diagnose our problem that day –no promises on repairs.   It turns out the impact caused a hole in the A/C's condenser (similar to the engine's radiator), letting the Freon leak away.  They have the spare parts on hand, which includes a new clutch for the air conditioner and ancillary parts and will schedule it the next morning.  John deduces that fixing air conditioning is routine in this part of the country where summer high temperatures are almost always over 100^oF.  They also have a loaner car, so we go on our much merrier way back to the campground, to await both the repair and the new tow bar.  In the morning, we will re-locate to another RV park inside Amarillo called A OK, reflecting our inner hopes for all the repairs.

That night we drive the loaner to Big Texan Steak Ranch, the company behind the free-meat billboard.

It's definitely a tourist trap –kinda reminiscent of walking into Wall Drug: a shooting gallery, a cute “life size” animatronic country bear, brewery, motel, big gift shop, and more. But it's a fun one where locals eat, too.  Debbie thinks it more classy.

Center stage among the restaurant tables is a raised platform with six place settings and six countdown clocks.  As in a boxing ring, an announcer introduces the contestants, makes a lot of enthusiastic noise, and has them dig in while the clock starts to run.  These two guys had decided to try for the free meal as we leave.

The next day is Tuesday. Conrad calls from F/X to announce that he has the new tow bar.   Brown Honda says to come get our C-RV with its new Freon cooler thanks to the accident and a much more reliable air conditioner thanks to it being a part of the accident, although not a result of it.  (We'll make sure the insurance company understands we're not out to screw them.)  The new tow bar slips into place simply and locks firmly.  We are told that the insurance claim may include all that sheet metal and vinyl on the front of our car.  Maybe even a new H to ease Principal Skinner's concern!  We are told to wait until we're home to file the claim and they know to expect it.  Best of all, the coach seems to have no more than a white paint smear from the car's hood.  We never felt the low speed impact in the 15-ton Bry RV.

So, Wednesday morning we pull up stakes in Amarillo, deciding that Palo Duro is an enticing canyon, but it's not so grand that we would find much to do there after one day.  Next stop is Moriarty, New Mexico, that we never would have detected excepting it's on Debbie's Harvest Host list.

Our toad where it belongs!

We spend that night free of camping fees in the parking lot of Sierra Blanca Brewing.  Of course, it was not free (TANSTAAFL again) but our payment was to buy two beers, taste a couple more, and –we guess it's only fair– talk up the place as one that impressed us.  On the wall high above the tables is half a flying saucer embedded in the plaster with a gray-skinned, bug-eyed alien driving it.  John immediately recognizes that Roswell (NM) reference and discovers that Alien is the name of one of their popular brands.

Deb has a Whiskey Stout; John has a peanut butter porter and likes it(!) ...unlike the Pecan Porter he ordered at the Big Texan that he found so off-puttingly in-your-face with a strong smell and taste!  John samples Sierra Blanca's "Alien Milk Stout” which would have been the better choice and tries to buy a six-pack, but they don't bottle it!!  They do bottle the Whiskey Stout –"I loved the Whiskey Stout.  Oh my goodness, it was so good!"– but despite all that exuberance, Debbie didn't want to carry any back home.  At least John had a few good sips to decide the Alien Milk was the better stout for him, but both were great.

Tomorrow, we plan to test Bugs Bunny's directions at Albuquerque, keeping in mind we're coming at it from the opposite direction of the Warner Bros. Studios in L.A.